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Gives Good Mister September 26, 2007
Biddin' on the Boss September 18, 2007
September Concerts September 10, 2007

Gives Good Mister
By Kimberly Massengill
September 26, 2007
Couple of burlesque enthusiast friends of mine have been after me to join them, and I finally broke my fringe curtain cherry on a show that was about 30% better than it needed to be.

The Murray Hill Show.

"The hardest working middle-aged man in show business" (a tag to be peppered with at least three "ahem"s), Murray Hill is like the traveling salesman in the Ramada lounge who fills you full of whiskey sours and makes you feel all 4am. Then morning comes and you wonder how you're gonna explain this to your momma. He's the downtown down low, and has appeared in music videos for such acts as Northern State and Gossip, is a darling of the Beastie Boys, regularly makes hetero girls tingle in places they'd rather not, and most every weekend, emcees a damn funny burlesque show.

And stops occasionally to assure gay audience members he's tolerant of their lifestyle.

In the nudie girl slot this night was rapturous tasselmaster Miss Dirty Martini, in her first show since returning from playing gay Paree. Costumes! Jiggle! Shock! Awe! She will astound you with her mounds and confound you with her rounds! Miss Dirty puts the 'chew' in voluptuous. And before you ask, yes, she can get 'em spinning in opposite directions.

And they're spectacular.

Next up was juicy chanteuse-y, Bridget Everett, straight (ahem) from Off Off Broadway's At Least It's Pink. The paradisiacally plush Ms. Everett delivers like the pimply trailer park daisy Daddy didn't touch, in the back seat of the football captain's Camero. Then sings about same. With the help of Kenny Mellman, she had me choking on deliciously raunchy lyrics, some of which I nervously recall here:

Wait. What am I thinking? There's not a lyric in the bunch I can repeat without losing Quaker advertisers or something. Let's just say the show stopper's title was... "Canhole."

Girl. Is. Funny. And cheese louise, can she wail.

The Murray Hill Show is wrapping up a month at Mo Pitkin's, beyond which the future of the venue is uncertain. Mr. Hill's future, however, definitely has legs. And balls too, I think. Without missing a beat following this Saturday's final performance, October 5th begins an all new show at Corio, three nights a week through November.

Murray Hill Show

Pictured: Your intrepid columnist, proudly exhibiting her most unflattering angle, having been asked up on stage for a rousing show closer of "New York, New York" (and to show the audience the décolletage to which Mr. Hill had several times referred). Hill is at my left hand, a phallic balloon in my right, and the bottle-wielding Ms. Everett is behind me. My poise and dignity? Somewhere back uptown.

The Murray Hill Show
Mo Pitkin's
34 Avenue A
10pm Saturday 9/29

Corio
337 West Broadway at Grand Street
8pm Thursdays through Saturdays, October and November

Check out MrMurrayHill.com for each show's lineup. Also have a look at MissDirtyMartini.com, and a listen to AtLeastItsPink.com, neither of which are safe for work. Unless you work in, like, a discount bordello, or Idaho Senator Larry Craig's office, or something.

Biddin' on the Boss
By Kimberly Massengill
September 18, 2007

I've worked and volunteered for Musicians On Call since shortly after their launch in '99, and never is it more exciting than around Springsteen tour time. The Boss has been awfully good to MOC and our parent nonprofit The Kristen Ann Carr Fund, and this tour is no exception. We've been given a faboo pair of tickets for each of the 18 scheduled shows supporting Bruce's October 2nd release Magic, and we're auctioning them off. To, like, you.

The E-Streeters will all be there. "Miami/Little/Sylvio" Steven Van Zandt, Clarence Clemons, Nils Lofgren, Patti "Mrs. Boss" Scialfa, Roy Bittan, Danny Federici, Garry Tallent, and Mr. Personality hizzelf, Max Weinberg. All tickets are general admission in either the pit or the first tier. All winning bids will be tax deductible, based on the amount above the face value of the tickets.

We currently have tickets to the following shows:

2-Oct in Hartford, CT at the Hartford Civic Center
5-Oct in Philadelphia, PA at the Wachovia Center
9-Oct in East Rutherford, NJ at the Continental Airlines Arena
10-Oct in East Rutherford, NJ at the Continental Airlines Arena
14-Oct in Ottawa, ONT at the Civic Centre
15-Oct in Toronto, ONT at the Air Canada Centre
17-Oct in New York, NY at Madison Square Garden
18-Oct in New York, NY at Madison Square Garden
21-Oct in Chicago, IL at the United Center
26-Oct in Oakland, CA at the Oracle Arena
28-Oct in Los Angeles, CA the venue is TBA
2-Nov in St. Paul, MN at the Xcel Energy Center
4-Nov in Cleveland, OH at the Quicken Loans Arena
5-Nov in Auburn Hills, MI at the Palace of Auburn Hills
11-Nov in Washington, DC at the Verizon Arena
14-Nov in Pittsburgh, PA at the Mellon Arena
15-Nov in Albany, NY at the Times Union Center
18-Nov in Boston, MA at the TD Banknorth Garden

Bidding starts at $200 a pair. To bid, go to Charity Buzz. The folks I know who've won these in the past have been crazy-pleased, and have supported two worthy (and local) causes at the same time.

Anyone who wins a pair and invites me to join them gets lipstick on 'em. (Offer good for cheek or forehead only. Void where prohibited by vice laws.) Or I'll at least spring for the pre-show rippers and brew, and plaster your picture all up in MurphGuide.

About the Charities

Musicians On Call (MusiciansonCall.org) brings live and recorded music to the bedsides of patients in healthcare facilities through bedside performances and CD Pharmacies. To date, MOC volunteer musicians have played for over 88,000 patients, their families, and caregivers.

The Kristen Ann Carr Fund (Sarcoma.com) provides grants for cancer research and seeks to improve all aspects of a cancer patient's life, with an emphasis on adolescents and young adults.

September Concerts
By Kimberly Massengill
September 10, 2007

I have missed me some MurphGuide.

Overcome by the above, I recently sent Sean Murphy a "still want me?" e-mail. He suggested he might just, and we scheduled a lunch to discuss it. Couple paninis later, he gave me a 1930s style handshake and a "you're hired, Massengill." We tipped our fedoras at one another, and off I went, promising to submit something in the next few days.

That was months ago. And nothing but cricket chirps from my end. By this time I'm sure the good Mr. Murphy thinks I just wanted a free panini. I can see him now, shaking his head with the sort of pity/disgust combo normally reserved for a Britney Spears or an Amy Winehouse.

Then I got this e-mail (bear with me, I'll get to the music in a sec), a portion of which I reprint with permission:

Following links all over the place, I have been reading everything I could find written by you.
I am now at a dead end. Nothing newer than '05 on your web page.
You seem to have disappeared...

....unless of course this email address is still good, in which case I am hoping you will reply and direct me to your nearest blog if Manhattan is still your home. If you have in fact found a Donald Hollinger of your very own and no longer write, I am sorry and excuse the intrusion.

Sincerely yours,

Fiona Barr

A fan of honest creative and funny bloggers/journalists/Internet column writers/reviewers
who wishes we got New York radio stations in Boston.

This was not just sunshine being blown up my skirt. It was guilt. Where have I been? I'm still working in music. Still occasionally doing radio. And I've probably seen more live shows in the three years since I've written for MurphGuide than I ever have. But the truth is, I did find a Donald Hollinger of my very own. And as you may or may not know, falling in love is very time consuming.

But I'm back and I'm 'bout to burst. So much to tell you about. So much that excites me. If you were my dinner date, I'd run up to you at the restaurant and breathlessly shove my headphones into your ears so you can hear what I've been gleefully listening to on my way over. You'd of course ask me why I'm so late, and remind me that sharing earbuds is unsanitary.

Here's what today's earbud shove would be about...

"Together we fill the skies with music every September 11th."

So says the ad copy for The September Concert, an annual all-over-the-place music event featuring assorted and sundry free concerts, one of which I'm honored to be a part of. The performances are hosted by schools, businesses, and corporate and individual volunteers, on and around September 11th, each year since 2002.

The genres are varied and the scope is global, with dozens of shows in Manhattan alone. Artists include Grupo Guantanamo w/ Tito Sandoval & Nydia Ocasio at the Central Park Model Boat Lake, Lifeguard Nights at Cherry Hill, Patience Higgins at Creole Jazz, Star 69 at Hop Devil Grill, T.K. Blue at Greeley Square, Bridges and a Bottle at The Living Room, and Black Pig, Next Tribe, and The Mnemonic Devices at Kenny's Castaways. Huge line-ups at The Sugar Bar, Rockwood Music Hall, and in Tompkins Square Park. Much, much more. All free.

To check out the complete concert listings, or to volunteer, go to SeptemberConcert.org/.

And I'll see ya back here next week. No foolin'.

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Kimberly Massengill's a big ol' Southern belle who likes gray matter, a slow, grindy groove, and cucumber dip. She lives in Manhattan, where she talks dirty on the radio and bellies up to the bar when nothing good's on TV. Don't be afraid to say hey.
hometown.aol.com/kimmassengill

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